Friday Fun

On one of my favorite sites, Romance Divas, they had a thread called "Romance Novels That Will Never Be Written. The posts were hilarious. I may transfer some of them here. Motivated to participate, I wrote a little back cover blurb of my own.

FANG SHUI

When Antonio von Teuth decides to make some major changes, it’s not because of a midlife crisis. Can’t be. He’s immortal. No, his need for an overhaul comes from having just emerged from a rejuvenating subterranean nap. Problem is, a lot has changed in thirty years. So, he transfers all his BeeGees albums to an iPod, sells his Atari on eBay, and hires someone to revamp his castle, because the last time he changed the look of the place, Van Gogh still had both his ears.

Almost broke, diabetic designer Berbera Kharpette jumps at the chance to redecorate Casa de Sanguina because her expertise with the ancient Chinese art of placement is not pulling in customers like she’d thought. But as work begins, she can’t believe she’s having dirty thoughts about a man who…well, smells like dirt and uses phrases like ‘tubular’ and ‘grody.’

Will Berbera be able to get past Antonio’s puka shells and Adidas shorts to appreciate the vamp within? And will Antonio be able to face eternity without ever tasting Berbera’s hyperglycemic sweetness?