Monday, June 04, 2007

Story: Sixteen Again

Story: "Sixteen Again" by Kate Willoughby from the June 5, 2007 issue.

Tagline: It had been many years since Carl and Diana had dated, but seeing her again was like drinking from the fountain of youth.

What follows is an analysis of a Woman's World story with suggestions/observations for people who want to sell stories to WW, peppered with some personal opinion, too. :)

I wrote this story, but I'm going to review it anyway!

The story starts out setting up the situation and introducing the characters. In this case we meet father and son first as they wait in line for ice cream at the mom and pop parlor celebrating its centennial. We get a feeling for the two men and their easy-going relationship. We also find out that Carl, the dad, is interested in the owner of the ice cream parlor. I (hopefully) build the suspense, such as it is in a WW story, by making the men decide to come back later.

When they do return, we meet the heroine, Diana. We get a little backstory and discover that Carl's son and Diana's daughter are a couple. Surprise! :) The story ends with Carl and Diana making a date to go rowing on the lake at a future time, with the last line of the story tying in with the title.


Best Part: "I heard you turned a hundred, but you don't look a day over thirty." Heh heh. I like this line when Carl speaks to Diana, but refers simultaneously to her ice cream parlor and her.

In My Humble Opinion:
There's a bit of a rough spot after the mention of the cologne where Carl says, "She's in there." The story would have benefitted from the use of her name rather than the pronoun.

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4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kate,

I've got to go out and get your story. Congratulations on another sale!

6:00 PM  
Blogger Kate Willoughby said...

Thanks, anon! I don't think it's on the stands anymore, though. :(

6:09 PM  
Blogger Donna Alice said...

Thanks,Kate for reviewing your WW story. I found your blog searching for your online class--writing for Woman's World. Do you think you'll offer it again?

I'll look for your story--we get WW at our library now.

7:12 PM  
Blogger Kate Willoughby said...

Thanks, Donna Alice. :) I'm offering it again through Heart of Carolina Romance Writers in September, 2008. :) In the meantime, go to losangelesromanceauthors.com and click on the newsletter (April/May issue.) There's a synopsis of the short 1-hour workshop I gave them.

6:25 PM  

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