Hot Man Haiku: Jude Law

As clavicles go
This one's tops. Wish I could see
All his other...bones.

Hot Man Haiku: Freddie Ljungberg

Let me assure you,
That is not a banana.

Can you handle it?

Wet Man Haiku: Orlando Bloom

Fear not, my friend
'Tis not a vicious monster.

I had beans for lunch.

Wet Man Haiku: Lance Armstrong

Naked, I pedal,
At one with nature, and yet
torturing my nuts.

Wet Man Haiku: Prince William

My Cinderella
will come to me in the night
and volley my ball.

Haiku: Angelina Schmangelina

Leave her, Brad, darling!
What's she got that I don't have?

...Forget I said that.

Haiku: What's That Rustling?

Backyard opossum

Cute. Opossum in attic?

I'm calling Orkin.


Yep. We had a confirmed sighting of the rodent in our attic. It gives me the willies to hear it messing around up there. Anyone ever had this problem?

Haiku: Natural Curiosity

Wild Monkey Sex--

is it wilder,

or is that just propaganda?

Haiku: Nature Is Cruel

It occurs to me:
Salmon are always orphans.

No, I'm not on drugs.

Haiku: Fabric Medley

My Starbucks apron:
mocha, syrup, milk splashes...
a green scratch 'n sniff.



I'm at the Romance Writers of America Conference until next Monday. Struggle on without me. :) LOL

Haiku: Tendonitis Rip Off?

Got an elbow brace
A Velcro and plastic thing
Bill...a hundred bucks!

Note: This device IS helping with the pain, but I still can't see charging that much money for it.

Haiku: Citrus Joy

I want fresh lemons.
Behold my Mother's Day gift
A small potted tree!

Haiku: Chick, Where Are Your Brows?

I, Mona Lisa


a great book, but the portrait...


that ain't no smile.




Note: This may be one of the most recognizable works of art in the world, and much as been said about her enigmatic smile. My poem states what I think about that. She's wearing what we call in my family a "courtesy smile."

While this isn't a painting that I particularly like, I loved the novel by Kalogridis. I powered through it in three days. If you liked Girl with a Pearl Earring or In the Company of the Courtesan, you'll enjoy I, Mona Lisa.

Haiku: Flashed Yesterday

Man in the restroom
Neglects to lock the damn door.
He wore red boxers.

Addendum: Red boxers with white polka dots!

Feline Funny

Not up to writing my own poem this week, I resorted to snatching one off the Internet. This one made me snort. I'd credit the author if I knew his/her name.

You must scratch me there.

Yes, above my tail.

Behold, elevator butt.

Haiku: Impulse Buy

Sixty percent off
A beautiful comforter
With matching pillows!

Haiku: Aquatic Bummer

My pet fish

makes a bubble nest, and yet

no females in sight.

Haiku: Sweet Temptation

Struggling for weight loss

I eye the cranberry scone

O hated pastry

Haiku: Farewell to Babysitters

Date night at the movies
Two sons stay at home
Ah, the ecstasy